Rona’s Riotous
Reception
Exclusive
by TheSmeeGoanGuy
Ottawa July 17,
2013
Peaceful Protest Erupts in Violence
Yesterday
The MMRP Ladies Auxiliary assembled on Parliament to welcome our new Minister
of Health: The Honourable Rona Ambrose. As such she has been given the task of
implementing the commercial boondoggle that Leona Aglukkaq is leaving behind
with her mismanagement of the MMAProgram. The group had prepared a short
protest note they wished to present regarding the banning of all personal
growth.
The
announcement was set for 10 AM but the ladies arrived early to
secure a front row position. They posed for a group photo to commemorate the
event.
The MMRP Ladies
Auxiliary
They then
engaged in welcoming every new arrival with huge smile. They introduced
themselves as advocates for patients, presented an informational brochure to
tell what the problems were, and gave
each a welcoming gift an extremely potent and delicious sample of “Mellow
Yellow”- Medible #269. Its 75% secret cannabinoids has won world wide acclaim
for its benefits. It produces a state of euphoric stress relief: anxiety about
the future is replaced by anticipation of pleasure: tactile sensitivity of
erogenous zones is magnified many times(Patent Application in process.)
There are
3 common side effects that some people find problematic:
1. Stupid grin and
giggle attacks at inappropriate times:
2.A tendency to
scream and react badly when their enjoyment is disturbed: and
3. A resent of
authority that can erupt in violence if sensed when stoned.
At 9:30 AM the Cops arrived in force to
control the terrorist activity CSIS claimed was being promoted on Sacred
Government Ground. Their timing couldn’t have been worse. 32 SWAT teams arrived
with screaming sirens and disturbed the tranquility of the now stoned audience.
They sent spies to penetrate the crowd, single out the Ladies Auxiliary and
forcibly tried to remove them from the crowd. The Ladies having followed Brian Barpile’s Martial
Arts posts forcibly resisted, the screaming started and all hell started to
break loose.
The remaining Cops tried to kettle the crowd with riot
shields and Billy clubs but this mass exertion of authority was too much and
side effect #3 kicked in. The riot lasted a full hour and only ended with the
arrival and hosing down of the crowd by 4 Water Cannons that cooled tempers and
quiet was restored.
There were 213 arrests for a variety of offenses but the
large majority (142) were the result of one officer witnessing another getting
his balls or ass kicked. The majority
of these will be dismissed if the accused pleads ignorance and claims he didn’t
know Cops had Balls.
Further updates will be provided as events develop but
these are impossible to predict as they are all controlled by
Stinkin Stephen’s Thinkin
Go figure
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