Wednesday, 17 July 2013
Rona’s Riotous Reception
Rona’s Riotous Reception
Exclusive by TheSmeeGoanGuy
Ottawa July 17, 2013
Peaceful Protest Erupts in Violence
Yesterday The MMRP Ladies Auxiliary assembled on Parliament to welcome our new Minister of Health: The Honourable Rona Ambrose. As such she has been given the task of implementing the commercial boondoggle that Leona Aglukkaq is leaving behind with her mismanagement of the MMAProgram. The group had prepared a short protest note they wished to present regarding the banning of all personal growth.
The announcement was set for 10 AM but the ladies arrived early to secure a front row position. They posed for a group photo to commemorate the event.
The MMRP Ladies Auxiliary
They then engaged in welcoming every new arrival with huge smile. They introduced themselves as advocates for patients, presented an informational brochure to tell what the problems were, and gave each a welcoming gift an extremely potent and delicious sample of “Mellow Yellow”- Medible #269. Its 75% secret cannabinoids has won world wide acclaim for its benefits. It produces a state of euphoric stress relief: anxiety about the future is replaced by anticipation of pleasure: tactile sensitivity of erogenous zones is magnified many times(Patent Application in process.)
There are 3 common side effects that some people find problematic:
1. Stupid grin and giggle attacks at inappropriate times:
2.A tendency to scream and react badly when their enjoyment is disturbed: and
3. A resent of authority that can erupt in violence if sensed when stoned.
At 9:30 AM the Cops arrived in force to control the terrorist activity CSIS claimed was being promoted on Sacred Government Ground. Their timing couldn’t have been worse. 32 SWAT teams arrived with screaming sirens and disturbed the tranquility of the now stoned audience. They sent spies to penetrate the crowd, single out the Ladies Auxiliary and forcibly tried to remove them from the crowd. The Ladies having followed Brian Barpile’s Martial Arts posts forcibly resisted, the screaming started and all hell started to break loose.
The remaining Cops tried to kettle the crowd with riot shields and Billy clubs but this mass exertion of authority was too much and side effect #3 kicked in. The riot lasted a full hour and only ended with the arrival and hosing down of the crowd by 4 Water Cannons that cooled tempers and quiet was restored.
There were 213 arrests for a variety of offenses but the large majority (142) were the result of one officer witnessing another getting his balls or ass kicked. The majority of these will be dismissed if the accused pleads ignorance and claims he didn’t know Cops had Balls.
Further updates will be provided as events develop but these are impossible to predict as they are all controlled by
Stinkin Stephen’s Thinkin
Labels: amazing, funny, grins, Health Canada, human, Humor, humorous, incompetent, infectious, jokes, laughter, Minister, ridiculous, Rona, silly, stupid, tales, treachery, Victims, yarns
Smee. The Smee.Goan.Guy!
I have begun to believe my mind is full of tiny little topics that act like pimples.No one can predict the order they start to fester in, or when they’ll get ripe and burst. I’ve given up being a “Good” guy. I’ve started to speak my mind and some people don’t like me. I’m disgusted with the way the world has turned into a potential disaster waiting to happen and this is where I vent. I’ve got 70 years of getting pissed off to vent and I’ve come to the conclusion that my fellow men are too damned stupid to save the world. There are just too many screw-ups going on at the same time. I’m sick of it all but here we are in the middle of the Stew Pot and this is going to be my commentary regarding the days stupidities and lies as our leader spouts them.
This blog is a probably futile attempt to save Personal Growth but what the hell I’ve got nothing else to do and Harper the asshole just doesn’t please me.
What a poor fucking Prime Minister we got this time. He makes Chrétien and Mulroney look like saints.