I have begun to believe my mind is full of tiny little topics that act like pimples.

No one can predict the order they start to fester in, or when they’ll get ripe and burst.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Rona’s Riotous Reception

Rona’s Riotous Reception

Exclusive by TheSmeeGoanGuy
Ottawa July 17, 2013

Peaceful  Protest Erupts in Violence

Yesterday The MMRP Ladies Auxiliary assembled on Parliament to welcome our new Minister of Health: The Honourable Rona Ambrose.  As such she has been given the task of implementing the commercial boondoggle that Leona Aglukkaq is leaving behind with her mismanagement of the MMAProgram. The group had prepared a short protest note they wished to present regarding the banning of all personal growth.

The announcement was set for 10 AM but the ladies arrived early to secure a front row position. They posed for a group photo to commemorate the event.

The MMRP Ladies Auxiliary

They then engaged in welcoming every new arrival with huge smile. They introduced themselves as advocates for patients, presented an informational brochure to tell what the problems were,  and gave each a welcoming gift an extremely potent and delicious sample of “Mellow Yellow”- Medible #269. Its 75% secret cannabinoids has won world wide acclaim for its benefits. It produces a state of euphoric stress relief: anxiety about the future is replaced by anticipation of pleasure: tactile sensitivity of erogenous zones is magnified many times(Patent Application in process.)

There are 3 common side effects that some people find problematic:

1. Stupid grin and giggle attacks at inappropriate times:
2.A tendency to scream and react badly when their enjoyment is disturbed: and
3. A resent of authority that can erupt in violence if sensed when stoned.

At 9:30 AM the Cops arrived in force to control the terrorist activity CSIS claimed was being promoted on Sacred Government Ground. Their timing couldn’t have been worse. 32 SWAT teams arrived with screaming sirens and disturbed the tranquility of the now stoned audience. They sent spies to penetrate the crowd, single out the Ladies Auxiliary and forcibly tried to remove them from the crowd.  The Ladies having followed Brian Barpile’s Martial Arts posts forcibly resisted, the screaming started and all hell started to break loose.

The remaining Cops tried to kettle the crowd with riot shields and Billy clubs but this mass exertion of authority was too much and side effect #3 kicked in. The riot lasted a full hour and only ended with the arrival and hosing down of the crowd by 4 Water Cannons that cooled tempers and quiet was restored.

There were 213 arrests for a variety of offenses but the large majority (142) were the result of one officer witnessing another getting his balls or ass kicked.   The majority of these will be dismissed if the accused pleads ignorance and claims he didn’t know Cops had Balls.

Further updates will be provided as events develop but these are impossible to predict as they are all controlled by 

Stinkin Stephen’s Thinkin

Go figure